Nicole feels

I have a tart burner.

I love it. It was a Christmas gift, and burning Yankee tarts elicits the most wonderful smell. Last night, the scent-o-the-eve was hazelnut coffee (which also happens to be my latest hot-beverage addiction).

I was working on a r�sum� and Kaytlin was entertaining our friends� 22 month old. �Sloop!� went the sound of Parker�s gack-splat ball as it hit the ceiling, dangling precariously. These little suckers are sort of sticky and temporarily adhere themselves to whatever surface you womp them against. �Floomp!�, went the source of Ashley�s glee as it hit the floor.

�Sloop...floomp...giggle-squeal...�

�Sloop...floomp...giggle-squeal...�

�THWACK!�

It took me a second to realize that I had been sprayed with hot wax. Me, the back of my laptop, the table, the wall, the piano, Ashley�s diaper bag...

A tart�s worth of hazelnut-waxy joy, all over the place, Parker�s sticky toy landing rather impolitely and smack dab in the center of said tart burner.

To say I was a bit miffed would be not only true, but a slight understatement.

I have learned two things from this little mishap. Number one: Pampered Chef stoneware scrapers peal wax off of walls, tables, pianos, and computers rather well.

Number two: Hot wax applied to the back end of a cat makes for happy little waxy tufts of hair scattered about the house for an undetermined amount of time.

Anybody know how to remove wax from cat fur?

Conversation over lunch between an almost-five year old and his mom.

Totally out of the blue: �Mom, little Joey�s mom has a big hiney.�

�Parker, that isn�t a nice thing to say.�

�Well, she does!�

�Parker, that would make her sad if she heard you say that.�

Slight pause.

�I don�t know how many pounds it is.�

�Parker, let�s not talk about that.�

Another pause.

�It�s only like (arms outstretched as wide as possible for emphasis) this big!�

What am I going to do when this kid starts kindergarten? (Janie, I think I may just have the male version of Sophie!)