Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 || Heart matters are tricky business

Nicole feels The current mood of nacwolin at

I hate it that I care so much about what people think.

We had a nice weekend in MO. Seeing old friends. Watching our “son” marry. Dining out at some of my favorite, only-in-that-town places. Being able to be with Rob, just the two of us. Hearing him preach for our “baby”.

All the makings for a great time and wonderful memories. And what do I hate to admit that I am mulling over today?

(I am thinking that perhaps if I get it off my chest, I can lay it to rest and go on with my week.)

The family who left the church in MO just before God called us away a year ago is a part of that church now. It is interesting to think that they could be “called” to leave, only to be “called” to come back the week after our departure.

To this day they have never made it right with us. Rob went to them in the summer, telling them that he had no ill will toward them.

Of course, they didn’t give that kindness in return. But that is not what forgiveness is about – and I know this, I’ve “preached” this. Forgiveness is something one has to do regardless of if the offender ever realizes they offended.

I’ve prayed over it. I know that going to them and saying “I forgive you” would be idiotic since they really don’t think they did anything wrong.

I’ve done my best to move on. And that isn’t so tough when they are half a country away.

This weekend, what has been out of sight and out of mind for a year now was the matron of honor.

She said hello to me, quickly, as she hurried down the aisle at the rehearsal. And that was pretty much it the whole weekend. She masterfully avoided me at every turn. She pretty much looked miserable any time we were around.

I asked her two small-talk questions at lunch on Sunday, to which she said “Yes,” then “No.” As we all left the restaurant – mind you, we were with a large group from the church, and even as her husband gave us hugs and held their oldest child for us to hug and kiss – she climbed into their vehicle without so much as a fare thee well.

I want to just say, “to each his own” and “good riddance”. But I have to admit it, it bothers me that she was so blatantly rude. I am sure that we weren’t the only ones to notice that she made a break for it like that. I even tried to catch her eye and wave, but she never even gave us a second glance.

The point is, I don’t like someone not liking me.

My mind tells me that it is her problem, not mine. Now I just wish I could convince my heart.

~ ~ ~

test - Saturday, Oct. 01, 2016
Just a reminder - Friday, Aug. 10, 2007
Rockin' Girl Blogger - Wednesday, Jul. 18, 2007
A good end - Friday, Jun. 01, 2007
Moving on? Yes and no. - Monday, May. 07, 2007

All entries (c) Nacwolin 2001-2006. These are my words. Use your own, m'kay?