Nicole feels

First of all, I should be outside on this gorgeous day, trying to de-jungle our front gardens, but...eeee! Why would I want to do that? Once I get out there, I actually find it cathartic, but just call me the Queen of Procrastination today.

So, instead I am here. It's been a week since my last foray into updating this dear diary, and so I figure it is about time.

And it is keeping me from weed-pulling.

Bonus.

Let's see...what have I been up to...

I subbed in the daycare twice last week and once this week. The infant room. 0-18 months. Getting a baby fix without the sleepless nights. In reality, it has been more about needing the money. I mean, they are cute and all that, but I really don't miss having a baby around. I like (well, most of the time I like...we do have a 14-year-old you know) the stages our kiddos are in. I like that Rob and I can take off for a quick bite to eat in the evening - just the two of us - without a second thought because we have two pretty responsible teens in the house (because, you know, any 8-year-old needs two babysitters...heh, not really, but it's kind of like double the insurance policy - one is there for back-up if the other flakes out).

Let's see, what else...

Our church finally hired a music minister. Since we've been here, they've had 3-4 guys come interview/candidate. Some were invited and said no. Others were not asked to to come. When this guy was here two weekends ago, Rob and I were both like, "No way. He's not the one."

Which, made me think in the back of my head, "Ummm, yeah, so they are probably going to hire him."

And they did. I am still not sure what to think. What did everyone else see that we didn't?

The pastor and his wife went down to where he lives and does music part-time a few weeks ago and saw him lead the service there, before he ever came here. So, my thought is that they had already made up their mind that he was "the guy", but they brought him up here for the glad-handing because that is what they have done with everyone else. I really do think - in retrospect - that even though the pastor emailed a bunch of us, telling us that our opinion mattered, telling us to let him know our thoughts, that he was counting down the hours till he could make the official offer call.

Maybe he will work out just fine. He did great with the choir. And that was what Rob and I told him - if you are looking for a choir director, he'll do great.

We *thought* they were looking for a music minister to bring the church to a more culturally relevant level. Not sure this dude has it in him, but hey, when a church has the word "First" in the name and it is 130 years old, can they ever really be up-to-date? We are talking 4th and 5th generation - maybe more - people here.

And they are good people. And I suppose the music style is more about the masses than a few. I get that. But I do miss the way we were able to do music at Anchor. Man, how I miss it. And all along I've been thinking in the back of my mind, "When a new music minister comes, I will get involved..."

I just don't see it with this guy. And unless he holds some kind of open auditions, I don't think I will be involved in the music here. Which really makes me sad.

How, after 13 months, can one still be thinking, "What in the world are we doing here...?"