Friday, Nov. 14, 2003 || Sowing and reaping

Nicole feels The current mood of nacwolin at

Disclaimer to today’s entry:

I am going to rant in this one. Janie, my dear sister, you may not want to read this entry. I do not plan to be nice, and it is not my intent to hurt you, but I need to get some things off my chest.

There is a good chance I will delete this in the next day or two…

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bastard, n.
1. A child born out of wedlock.
2. Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.
3. Slang A person, especially one who is held to be mean or disagreeable.
4. My brother-in-law.

Yeah. So, I am a bit angry today.

I have held off on commenting much on what is happening to my sister and her children, because I know that she and they are hurting so much, and I do not want anything that I say, here or any place else, to heap any further abuse on her or those precious children.

But I am about to burst with frustration and rage and grief over this. I have said this is my place to sort out my feelings as well as share humor and day-to-day stuffs, and I think I have been slightly disingenuous to avoid talking about all of this.

In a nut shell, this all really pisses me off.

(I apologize to those of my readers who find this type of talk, coming from a Christian, let alone a pastor’s wife, offensive. It is not my intent to offend anyone. I just need to be real, and even raw, for a little while.)

There has never been any love lost between BIL and me. We both tend toward being outspoken and opinionated. We have had our share of arguments, even a couple of shouting matches. Over the years, we learned to tolerate one another for Janie’s sake.

He can even be a likable guy. He has a good sense of humor and a quick wit. He is intelligent. He has passed on some of his football knowledge to this fledgling football fan.

And so over the years, as I would visit each February or March, I would bite my tongue and try to bury my true feelings about how he treated her, how he spoke to her, how he treated the kids.

If this is what Janie wanted, I would support her. I didn’t marry him. It was her choice.

But it didn’t mean I didn’t worry. That Rob and I didn’t, on many an occasion, talk about how he couldn’t see past the nose on his face to what a wonderful woman his wife is. That she was being stifled in their legalistic, rules-are-more-important-than-relationships church that he refused to leave, because – by golly! – he’d been a member for over 10 years!!

And now the jerk is telling her in one breath how beautiful she is and how she is a wonderful woman and mother, and in the other that he chooses someone else. That she is an amazing woman and he still wants to be a part of her life, but she really needs to get the laundry in order if she hopes to have a relationship with someone else.

His initials fit because it is all a bunch of BS.

There is a tricky little phrase we who have tied the knot probably all spoke as we stood at the front of that church or before a justice of the peace. For better or for worse. That includes unmade beds, boredom, and yes, even dirty laundry. How about the words love, honor, and cherish? You can not say that you love someone and yet you are getting off with some floozy who was in the 5th or 6th grade when you got married.

Think of that, BIL. The day you promised to love my sister for the rest of your lives, your little plaything was in elementary school.

Everyone keeps saying Janie doesn’t deserve this, and she doesn’t. Neither do those kids. But do you know what I haven’t heard anyone say?


“Don't be misled. Remember that you can't ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow! Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death.” (Galatians 6:7-8)

And isn’t it enough that she and the kids are hurting and vulnerable? Why is it that in the name of “Christian love”, there are idiots – the very type of people that make non-Christians abhor Christianity or anything that smacks of this brand of religiosity – who are more interested in their image or the image of the church than the health and well-being of their sister in Christ?

This is what Christ said about your rules-over-relationships brand of church:

“"How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you ignore the important things of the law – justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things. Blind guides! You strain your water so you won't accidentally swallow a gnat; then you swallow a camel! "How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy – full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisees! First wash the inside of the cup, and then the outside will become clean, too. "How terrible it will be for you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs – beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people's bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy.” (Matthew 23:23-28)

It just absolutely sickens me what some people will justify in the name of Christ. It is spiritual abuse, plain and simple.

It is not about what you do, or don’t do. It is about Who you know.

You, too, will reap what you sow.

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test - Saturday, Oct. 01, 2016
Just a reminder - Friday, Aug. 10, 2007
Rockin' Girl Blogger - Wednesday, Jul. 18, 2007
A good end - Friday, Jun. 01, 2007
Moving on? Yes and no. - Monday, May. 07, 2007

All entries (c) Nacwolin 2001-2006. These are my words. Use your own, m'kay?