Nicole feels

Busy, busy, busy.

I've been subbing a lot, which limits my cyber-time severely. And I haven't been able to think of anything witty or profound lately, so that keeps me away.

Rob got a nice bonus check today. He'd talked to his boss about a raise, and they basically said, "Well, you will get a merit increase in January...", which was a bit frustrating since we know he makes a good 5-15K less than many of his counterparts. But then the VP handed him a check for 5% of his annual income.

Not too shabby.

He was also told that even though he was passed up for a recent promotion ("we think you need more experience"), it was hinted at that there is going to be some restructuring in the new year and that they have him in mind for something along those lines.

And he is thrilled that his immediate boss was just promoted to another position - this guy could really make life difficult, so Rob was pretty happy about that.

But what about me, you ask? (Okay, maybe not, but humor me.)

Today I got to ask a bunch of 9th and 10th graders, after they watched a video about some surfers becoming Christians, "So what?"

I didn't mean it in a disinterested, I don't care way. I meant it like "so what now?" I wanted them to think about it. What does it mean - to them - to say they have a relationship with God? Why do they believe the Bible is the Word of God? How does being a Christian translate into everyday living?

Not pat answers. I wanted them to think about it. Really think about.

And I think a few did.

And that was cool.

Because you know what? I've been asking myself the same questions. Sure, I believe. I've believed for a long time. But why do I believe? How does it affect my life? What part does my faith play in day-to-day living?

So...what?

How do I make it - faith, the practice of it - practical and relevant? Not only in my own life, but so that my kids, my family, my friends, see that I am not just going through the motions.

So...what?

I've been asking myself the same question I asked those teens.

And I don't have a solid answer yet. And a part of me knows it would just be easier to fall back on those very pat answers I didn't want to hear from those students.

But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to just know what I believe. I want to know why I believe it.