|Sunday, Feb. 29, 2004 || I am overwhelmed|
I am so overwhelmed.
And not in that I-don't-think-I-can-keep-my-head-above-water way that I have experienced quite often since this whole relocation-build-our-new-lives-in-a-new-town began.
No, this is a "I am so overwhelmed - humbled, exhilirated, amazed - by what God is doing in my life right now".
My faith is a big part of my life, as many of you know, even though I don't always bring that up here. I believe in the power of prayer to change lives and give direction.
I have been praying since we arrived to know what God wants me to do at this point in my life. In MO last summer, I felt like I had a very specific direction. I was actively involved in two ministries in our church. I was pursuing my degree in Psychology with the intent of one day becoming a counselor.
All of that changed in December. School is now on hold. We are at a new church and I am no longer a ministry coordinator anywhere. I began to pray, and all I could hear and feel in my heart were these 8 words:
Be still and know that I am God.
Okay, fine. Nevermind that I am a type-A, firstborn, performance driven personality. Sure, God, I can just sit here and wait.
Who am I kidding!? This has been hard for me. The silence. The waiting. Oh, it has taught me a lot. And I am now thankful for the rest, for the respite, for the refreshment of simply being rather than doing.
Finally, this morning I felt God impressing this into my heart:
I want you to show others my Daddy-heart.
Whoa. I am not even sure I totally understand that aspect of His character. But, I have no doubt that this is something He wants me to do. And I believe I will learn so much in the process.
I have a friend who has several chronic pain disorders. She said to Rob, "Hash out the fact that God's wants you to be in pain."
I don't believe that is what He wants for her, or any of us. I believe He allows it at times - for various reasons - but I don't believe He wants it.
That is what I am seeking to know. In His Father-heart, does He really want anyone to be in pain? My gut tells me no. What good Daddy would want their child to be in pain?
Our world is so full of bad daddies who have warped our image of fathers to the point that it is hard for us to accept His father-love and understand the true character of it.
I think of Six's stories of her daddy; how he protected her, shielded her, loves her. That is the kind of Daddy I think God is.
If he could keep us from pain, He would. Often, we bring it on ourselves. And He allows us to struggle through it. But He is not far away. He is there to be our strength in those times, if we just reach out.
Knowing and sharing the Daddy-heart of God. What an awesome purpose.
I am overwhelmed.
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Rockin' Girl Blogger - Wednesday, Jul. 18, 2007
A good end - Friday, Jun. 01, 2007
Moving on? Yes and no. - Monday, May. 07, 2007