Monday, Jul. 24, 2006 || Making friends

Nicole feels The current mood of nacwolin at

Okay, y'all, I am going to be a bit transparent with you today.

(And this is more for the women who read - no offense, Cap'n; it's just one of those things, LOL.)

I am realizing that, overall, I have a tough time making in-person friends (girlfriends). I just don't put a lot of effort into getting to know someone face-to-face. I think it is likely a fear of rejection, which is a "hole" I have had for years.

HOWEVER, I find it really easy to "get to know" folks online. I feel that many of my "closest" friends are women I have never met face to face, yet we share our everyday lives - from the mundane to the deeply personal - with one another, either here, via instant messaging chats, e-mails, or with other women I've "gotten to know" through a bulletin board I frequent.

Now, some of these great women, I've since been able to meet in person, and it has always been like we were dear old chums right from the first moment we laid eyes on each other. It is an amazing thing - and a blessing, no doubt.

So, does anyone else experience this? The folks you come into contact with person-to-person on a daily or weekly basis, such as coworkers or other church members or neighbors, you have trouble - or hesitate in - developing relationships with, yet in the online forum, you are able to develop friendships and share deeply personal things?

Perhaps it is because there is a sense of anonymnity online, so we allow ourselves to be a bit more transparent...?

Just trying to figure some things out about me (and whether I need to hire a therapist). I've been in our new home almost a year now, and I have yet to develop one significant friendship in our community or church. As a matter of fact, our ladies retreat is coming up at church, and I am thinking of not going because I don't feel close enough to anyone to ask if they want to room with me. Not to mention, I've already seen the list, and most folks have already "cliqued" off.

I also know that it takes being a friend to have a friend (show thyself friendly, and all that). I put a lot of time and effort into online relationships, yet I spend the bulk of my RL time developing my relationship with my husband (which is good, believe me - he is my best friend and there is no one I'd rather spend time with!). But I think there is something in us women that gives us a need and desire to have "girlfriends" - as Anne of Green Gables would say, "a bosum friend".

Your thoughts?

~ ~ ~

test - Saturday, Oct. 01, 2016
Just a reminder - Friday, Aug. 10, 2007
Rockin' Girl Blogger - Wednesday, Jul. 18, 2007
A good end - Friday, Jun. 01, 2007
Moving on? Yes and no. - Monday, May. 07, 2007

All entries (c) Nacwolin 2001-2006. These are my words. Use your own, m'kay?