Nicole feels

Restless.

In a word, that is how I would describe my current state of mind.

I feel like I am being pulled in a zillion different directions. But when I take an assessment of what my life is right now, that really isn't the case.

But that is what it feels like.

Perhaps it is just the uncertainty of our time here. Are we going to move? If so, when? Where? If we stay here, in what capacity will we be involved at our current church? At another one?

Will I ever get the painting done so I can finish unpacking? And will completing that task simply mean that it's time to pack all over again?

Every other time we've moved, I've had us unpacked, and the house organized within a few weeks.

I barely even have a picture on the wall in this place. That is so unlike me.

We've been here a year, and the wall in the kitchen still says in kilz over the ugly yellowish paint, "butt color" (Rob's idea for motivation to paint the darn thing).

I want to have roots somewhere.

Maybe that is the essence of the problem. My roots need to be in Him. Then perhaps the where's and how long's won't really be an issue.

Knowing that is one thing. It's a bit tougher to convince a heart that still longs for a place to really call home.

For more than what seems to be only a moment.