Nicole feels

There is something about being at my parents' house that makes me feel psychotic.

I don't think it is anything they do, or are doing - they have been great thus far. And it has been a pleasant enough visit to date.

Dad was most happily surprised to see us on Father's Day (we didn't tell him we were coming). The kids and I swam all day yesterday (well, they swam, I sunned). I had a nice dinner at P@nera with my mom and grandmom last night. I took the kids for snoballs afterwards.

I am not sure what it is. Maybe it has something to do with being in your childhood home and looking in the bathroom mirror, expecting to see a slim, trim 14-year-old in the mirror when instead all I see is a 34-year-old who seems to have packed 12 lbs back on her butt since the move.

I can feel this obsession with food nipping at my heels. I am feeling fat and unattractive (and no, this is not a ploy to get folks to tell me otherwise) even though I am well within my "ideal" weight range.

I do well at the onset of the day, but by the evening, I am craving any and every snack in sight, whether I am hungry or not.

Bleh.

It didn't help that I tried to call Rob - on both of his cell phones - numerous times this morning to no avail. He's in St@ten Island and he won't answer his phone. Hello?! Next time, please tell your wife that you are going to turn the ringers off so you can sleep in, m'kay?

And when I get to feeling like this, all I want to do is cut off a huge slice of that caramel danish I bought yesterday and snarf it. But if I do, I know it will feel as if the fat calories are spreading like syrup through my body and immediately settling on my thighs even before I digest the first bite.

Maybe I need to just go back to bed!