Nicole feels

I have been home since Saturday, but I have not been compelled to write. I am not sure why � I just feel like I am in this drought of sorts.

Before I try to explore that, I must take a moment to mention lunch with the girls on Saturday. Zen and Batten have already written about the fantastic exchange of conversation over scrumptious food (I am having this Greek salad thing lately, and Saturday was no exception). It is amazing � and truly a blessing � to have developed such friendships through an online journal. Who would have thought it possible? Certainly not me.

Zen is funny and warmth just dances from her green eyes. She exudes this gorgeousness that is hard to describe. And Batten�she is just the loveliest thing. Full of exuberance and passion. And given all she has been through, that is a wonderful miracle of grace.

So, yes, I am in total agreement with the girls. We missed Six completely. But we still had a wonderful time, and you guys, I can�t wait to do it again! And next time, I think I am going to try that crab pretzel � you only live once, right?

Back to me and my�I don�t know how to describe it. There may be this wonderful opportunity on the horizon, and I am stressed about the amount of money it takes for a family of 5 to live in this day and age, because I don�t want money � in abundance or lack � to be the deciding factor. I hate it, hate it, hate it that it very well could be.

Rob�s response to me: sovereignty of God.

Phooey on him.

But I know he is right, and this is probably yet another one of those tests of faith.

I could really use a big �ole hug from my lover about now�