Nicole feels

So, overall I am feeling much better. I woke up with a nice headache this morning, but it was nothing a little caffeine couldn't fix. I guess maybe it was the red wine last night. I only had two glasses over several hours, but maybe. Sometimes I get a headache the next day; sometimes I don't. Kind of weird.

I feel like I have this entry bumping around in my head, but I can't get a hold of it. But I guess that kind of sums up how I am feeling overall. Uncertain. Restless. Unsure.

It's not really a bad feeling. It just is. I am really having a hard time putting my finger on it. What it is and why I feel this way.

My supreme focus in life right now is getting through this homeschooling year. We plan to send the kids back to public school next year, and I am comfortable with that. But I have to get through the next 11-12 weeks first.

Then what? I am just not sure. I think after the summer I want to get a part time job. I'd love to sub again, but I prefer the upper grades, and I am not sure those schools' schedules will work with Parker's school's, so that I can be here when he leaves in the morning.

And Rob needs to leave way too early to allow him to make sure Parker makes it on the bus.

Rob and I have talked a bit about me returning to college in the fall, but I also would really like to be doing something to contribute to the family funds so we can reach some goals.

I don't think it helps that I still feel quite disconnected from the church here. Rob thinks I need to wait, wait until we finish the school year before trying anything new. But if I don't get involved anywhere, how can I feel a part of the place?

Rob will be playing guitar at the upcoming couples retreat, so he has been practicing the past few nights. He played and I sang the other night and it reminded me that I really miss doing that.

I am way out of practice, but it was still a blast.

Wow, is this entry reading as disjointed as I've been feeling?

I did get a really cool pink 3/4 sleeve jacket on clearance tonight.

At least there's that, right?