Nicole feels

Wow! I can't believe the response to my soccer rant! Thanks to all who have signed my gb and encouraged me that I am doing the right thing.

As I read back over it last night, in some ways I feel that maybe I am being a little hard on this woman.

For one thing, I have never actually met her. My dh did last night, and while he did concede that she is a bad coach (which probably just means she had no idea what to do with the kids), he said that she was very nice, just very young, early 20's.

Perhaps that explains the attitude of "I am not going to take any suggestions from you, even though you have been in this league 3 seasons." Perhaps that is/was threatening to her. At first I was really just trying to be helpful. We've done this gig 3 times. Every suggestion has been ignored or disregarded. OK, fine. And, I have to admit that in the last few days I have wanted to say, or suggest, something that would prove her wrong.

I still feel that she may be unfairly, albeit perhaps unconciously, targeting our family. Perhaps the shirt was unintentional. Rob said someone just handed him the shirt. But here is my point: she has had them for over a week. She knew they sent her 1-2 wrong sizes. Why was no one called? Why did she not try to fix the error?

Oh, and I found out in talking with my darling spouse last night that he would have given OUR kid the correct size just like she did! Sheesh! I had that figured wrong. But he would have, as the coach, tried to get proper sizes.

So, ok, I would have kept the wrong size until a correction could be made. I suppose that comes from the major martyr syndrome my mother instilled in us girls from an early age.

I am just not sure what to do. It is just a 7 week soccer league. But I don't want to go to the practices or games without Rob there 'cause if this gal does something I don't approve of, I am afraid of what I will say. I don't think she likes me, and perhaps that is deserved. I don't want her to take it out on Parker. I am not sure that she would.

Is personality conflict enough reason to switch teams? Am I just being an over-protective mom?

Let me also add that the two other coaches we have been under we never had any conflict/problems with. They were wonderful folks all around. So team sports for kids are not always a bad thing. Don't let this one CFH keep you from signing your kiddo up for what can be a really great experience for them and you.

While we were discussing this last night, and I was making my displeasure known, dh came back with, "Well, there is a dad that I really think I can get to know and share Christ with." You know, at that point, that really hurt. It was like he was throwing faith in my face. Do I want him to have the opportunity to share God with others? Of course! But as I sat there trying to explain how I felt, that really hurt. Does that make sense?

In those moments, of him saying that and also adding "Well, maybe SHE doesn't like you", I felt like a little girl again, with my mother always telling me it somehow had to be my fault. I was the oldest in the family. If something went wrong, it had to be something I did or didn't do. I should have known better. I should have stopped them. It didn't matter if I didn't "start" it.

OK, now I am getting way deep in it, so I am going to stop now. Just pray for me, those of you who do, as this is just a really stressful time in my/our lives.

Thanks again for encouraging me. This on-line journaling may be weird to some, but it is helping me keep some semblence of sanity in my little world!