|Saturday, Feb. 02, 2002 || The Arkansas of the East Coast|
Living in the midwest, one often jokes about folks from Arkansas. You know...what does an Arkansas divorce and a tornado have in common?
With either one, someone's going to lose a trailer.
Today I had the honor and privelege of being at my youngest nephew's 2nd birthday party (I haven't missed one yet, but I suppose that isn't saying much since he has had only two...)
My darling brother-in-law, who shall remain nameless, obviously had parentage in attendance. The BIL's folks live in the lovely and scenic party of the "Bal-mer" metro area called Brooklyn Park. OK...so what, right? Well, let me share a little bit about Brooklyn Parkites.
The folks who live in Brooklyn Park tend to continue dressing in the same style in which they dressed in high school. Thus, the BIL's dad is a step back to the 50's and Elvis. Folks of my generation will still sport feathered, heavily hairsprayed 'do's - and the puffier on top, the better.
As well, B. P.ites have very unique accents. For instance, they drink a clear refreshing substance called "wuter". Most sentences end with the affectionate phrase, "hun." And instead of yes, they will mutter "yee-ah" in a very low gutteral tone.
Once one passes the age of 50, teeth become optional accesories. Pink stir-up pants are still in fashion, and please be sure to let the stir-up show, thank-you-very-much. Oh yes, and they are always right, love to argue, and the louder the better. Chasing pizza delivery boys isn't out of the ordinary either, but that is another story...
As I sat observing the gathering, my sister's MIL, FIL, and Grand-MIL harrassing one another on the couch, I was suddenly struck by a profound observation...
Brooklyn Park is the Arkansas of the East Coast. No matter that there aren't many, if any, mobile home parks. Who cares if the closest Wal-Mart is a town or two away.
Arkansas, you ain't got nothin' over Brooklyn Park!
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