Nicole feels

Today my darling spouse introduced the children I bore to a classic.

�Disco Duck�.

Oh, yes, he has very distinguished tastes in music.

Now they are listening to TV theme songs. Arthur. Peanuts. Mighty Mouse.

Did I ever tell you that my sister was in love with that potent rodent? A n y w a y...

Okay, fine. Now we have moved onto �Who Let the Dogs Out�. That song will be bumping around in my brain all night...

I expect my least favorite song to come blaring up the steps next. He loves to torture me with �Come On Eileen�. I despise that song. And it brings him great glee to play it for me.

Oh, the joys of MP3 playback on a new DVD player.

Ack! Now we have graduated to Weird Al and his Jerry Springer song. Yes, I married a man who indulges in a plethora of musical genres. The fact that my children can listen to a CD-R with Steve Vai, Bryan Adams, and Veggie Tales is a testament to this interesting facet of his personality.

One of his favorite things to do is record a CD for someone and include a �bonus� tract. For Kaytlin�s most recent creation, he chose a clip from SpongeBob, the one where Patrick tells the story of the Ugly Barnacle.

Good thing she has a programmable CD player.

Of course, the kids just got stuck on a �fluffing� clip. Oh, yes, Bugs Bunny passing gas. Over and over and over again.

When I signed up for this motherhood gig, I wasn�t quite expecting that.

Which brings me to another thought. I grew up in a house of all women, save our father, who was, quite honestly, a momma�s boy. So, some of the things those of the brawnier gender in this household do bring me great confusion.

There�s that grope-y, grabby thing boys do when they first leave the dipes in the dust. Unfortunately some never outgrow this, but I digress. Hello!? It is not going to fall off, oh-kay? It is right where you left it the last time you whipped it out (which hopefully did not include missing that white porcelain throne).

And of course, as mentioned above, a fascination with all bodily functions that are loud and/or odorous. That would include those lovely sounds that come forth from orifices above and below.

Oh man, how did this become a symposium of body parts and functions...?

�Oh, Mickey, your so fine��

Oh no.

It only gets better.