Nicole feels

Well, now, let's see if I can explain why I've locked up...

I've been participating on an author's bulletin board for almost five years now. It's been a wonderful experience, for the most part. I've had the opportunity to meet 4 BBers in person, and it was very much like meeting some of the great folks here. Some of those folks have/had diaries here and we've exchanged addresses and kept up with each other even more.

Last spring, a new poster came on the scene on that BB and started all sorts of trouble. Sometimes "she" posted witty, intelligent, interesting responses. Then she would just as quickly turn vicious and rude.

We started watching carefully the things she said and it was determined that she was nothing more than a troublemaker ("troll"). I made the mistake of calling her on something she said publicly via a private message through the board. She got very venemous toward me, first in several PMs (causing me to block her) and then publicly on the board. By this time, all the regular members were on to her and after causing a bit of chaos, and the rest of us pledging to ignore her, she disappeared in a huff.

Back then, I used to have my journal listed in my profile. Right after that happened, I removed it.

Fast forward to the end of July. I'd just posted the pictures of Rob's and my trip to VA Beach on the board (as well as here). There was an unregisered poster response making a snide comment to me in reference to the very thing I'd called that "troll" on back in the spring. She even used the same name (when unregistered, you can use any "name" and it shows up as ).

About a week or two later, I started noticing a new poster called Selah 23. She mentioned the area she lived in and her 3-year-old son's name. She mentioned having 2 sisters. I got suspicious and went back and read all her posts as well as old emails and posts from March. I also noticed that the anonymous poster to my picture thread had posted just one day before this "new" person had arrived. With the help of another board member, we realized that this new poster was likely the same troublemaker from the spring.

She also started buddying up to several other members she'd been especially rude to in the past. Within a week, at least ten of us were convinced she was that "troll". But she hadn't been rude or caustic yet, so we really couldn't say anything.

Someone mentioned blogging on the board and asked who kept one. I replied that I did and if anyone was interested in seeing it, they could PM me. This person hadn't had her PMs turned on yet, but all of the sudden I got one asking if she could have the address. I tried to reply with a "thanks but no thanks, I don't know you, I am sure you understand" type of response, but she'd turned her PMs off again, so I took a deep breath and let it go.

Last week, she started a thread where she explained, rather condescendingly, why she used the term "I bless you" when she said she was praying for someone. She started to get a bit snide about it as the thread grew. I finally took the time to look up some different Bible translations and in some other books for an explanation of a verse she used and posted it to the thread. It actually sort of supported what she said her reasoning was. But still, I should have known better than to respond at all, because a "troll" is looking for any and every response.

The very next day, she'd started this over-the-top, "Isn't Nicole a wonderful Bible scholar" thread:

A Word of Thanks to Our Resident Bible Scholar, Nicole...

...who takes the time to search out the scriptures and carefully and thoughtfully write them down for us to read. From the bottom of my heart, I do thank you. The Lord has truly written His Word on your heart, Nicole, and has imparted wisdom to you in ways you may not even know.

I am confident many others here appreciate the time and effort you put into trascribing God's Word for us to evaluate on the BB... I want you to know, your wise words do not go unnoticed.

My sister is a BSF Bible teacher, and you remind me of her in many ways. Have you ever considered becoming a Women's Bible study teacher? (if you aren't one already.) You have a great gift...

Thanks for sharing it with us. Selah

Now to someone who doesn't know the background, that might seem harmless enough. But to those of us who were harrassed by this person before...

I didn't respond. On two other threads, she mentioned how she had praised me - and surely didn't have the time, but felt led to do so - and that she'd hoped I'd seen it.

I didn't acknowledge it.

Finally, Friday morning, she came here and left a note. Which means this person either saved my diary link from the spring or googled my username for it, since I use the same one on the bulletin board. And as of Friday morning, if you click on her username in notes, there was no diary. So, she's either been inactive for a long time, or she registered here just to send me that note.

I finally replied to her "praise" thread with the following:

Selah,

I appreciate your thoughts, however, I am not comfortable with such lavish praise in a public forum from someone I really don't know. I am sure you will understand and not take offense that I did not reply in kind.

I would also ask that you please refrain from visiting my online journal. I tried to respond to you via PM when you sent me one asking for the address (which I assume you googled in order to find and leave me that scolding note). Since you have your PMs off again, I will leave the PM I tried to send you here:

Dear Selah,

I appreciate your interest in my blog; blogging is a really neat thing to do, and I have certainly enjoyed it. However, I have a lot of personal information in my blog, and I don't feel comfortable sharing that info with such a new member. I'm sure you are not offended, because you know how careful you have to be online these days.

Thank you for respecting my wishes.

So, locking up seemed like the best thing to do. This person is obviously wacko, and I don't want them having access to any more of my personal information than they already do/did.

It is sad, though, isn't it? That after five or so years here I have to lock up tight because of a troublemaker. But my family and I are more important, you know?

I may register for gold so I can unlock and monitor the visitors. Not sure yet, though. Until then, I thank those of you who have taken the time to contact me for the username and password. It means a lot that you still come here and read this drivel!