Nicole feels

Got some clutter out of the livingroom, diningroom, and kitchen, and I am feeling so much better.

I am just pretending that the family room doesn't exist - ha. Too much junk in there right now. Not that I have time for TV anyway.

I also finished up the trim work in our room and Rob installed the overhead fan, minus the blades. At least we have light in there now, and hey, it's like 30 degrees, who needs a fan, right? I also painted the chair rail stripe in the boys room, but the blue is so deep and navy, it will need another coat even after the dark primer.

Nuts!

(Now that's kind of a fun experlative, isn't it? Nuts! Nuts! Nuts!)

I was feeling a bit out of sorts yesterday. It is hard to explain. I was driving to the grocery store and I had this overwhelming thought that right now I don't really belong any where.

All of the "things" that helped define me as just Nacwolin are gone. Those things outside of being a wife and mother.

I am not a student right now; school is temporarily on hold, and I have to be honest and say that it will probably be a year or more before I am able to jump back in. I am not really a business owner, per se. It still exists, but I am not pursuing it at this time. I am no longer a ministry leader.

I know that we aren't supposed to define ourselves by roles, but that is so much easier said than done. I have made great strides, but I am still not always comfortable just being.

I think the lesson in my life right now, this day, this week, is simply this:

Be still. Be still and know that I am God.

I am trying. In a 80 mile per hour world, it is hard to get down to a snail's pace.