Nicole feels

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17).... One of God's most precious gifts to us is friends who encourage us and lovingly challenge us to "keep going". According to Scripture, a friend is one who challenges you to become all that God intends.... The mark of biblical friends is that their friendship draws you closer to Christ. They "sharpen" and motivate you to do what is right. True friends tell you the truth and even risk hurting your feelings because they love you and have your best interests at heart (Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy -Proverbs 27:6)."*

This weekend we had some overnight company who are those kind of friends.

Last summer we met this couple at a conference. They actually led the conference. I was at a very critical time in my life. They befriended me, they accepted me, they loved me, and yet they challenged me to get my head out of the sand and make some changes. To stop spending the night with the frogs**

I am a hard nut to crack. I was willfully stubborn. I tried to run and hide.

But they wouldn't let me. They saw my hurt, hurts that I didn't even realize were there until she looked me in the face and said, "You have a lot of hurt. You have a lot of holes," and I burst into tears.

I left that place feeling vulnerable and scared, yet strangely relieved.

The struggling did not end there. I wish I could say that it did. I continued to battle myself, to battle those around me. To question and fret and run scared and get angry.

But gradually, oh, so gradually...

"...he (the Lord) turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing" (Psalm 40:1-3a).

Even this place, this silly little diary space, has brought healing.

And this time when they looked at me, they said, "You've grown. We are proud of you."

I guess it is kind of like a kid. When you see them everyday, you just don't see them growing. It is too gradual on an everyday basis. But then someone who hasn't seen them in almost a year stops in and says, "Wow, she's getting so tall!" And you think, "What do you mean? She looks the same to me."

I was able to look out at them sitting in that church service and realize that they had filled a hole. They still are filling a hole.

But the thing about filling holes is, you have to let them be filled. And I realized I had been allowing them to be filled, and even filling some myself, and I didn't even know it.

Until just then.

*Experiencing God Day-by-Day
**Exodus 8:8-10