Nicole feels

Something happened today that really torqued me off.

I was asked to speak for our next M0PS meeting, next Tuesday. I�ve had a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head, but hadn�t been able to nail anything down. Before reading my Bible this morning, I specifically asked God to show me something in His Word and to guide me to what I should speak about.

While reading and journaling, a concept began to materialize. Then an illustration. By no means the talk in its entirety, but a direction, a start.

I was thrilled! I love that feeling when the light starts dawning and I start seeing the bigger picture of what I should say, or write.

I decided to share it with someone. I tried to relay that this was just some preliminary thoughts, but that I was excited about what God was/is lying on my heart.

And almost immediately they started in with an inquisition. �What about this?� �Did you think about that?� �Why�how�who�?�

I could feel the heat rising in my face, tears closing my throat, with an almost simultaneous chill stretching from the tips of my toes to the top of my blonde head.

It�s happened before. I�ve shared. They�ve �but��-ed. And I shut down in frustration.

Maybe I wasn�t explaining my thoughts well. Maybe it was just too soon to try to share the idea with another.

I know I don�t take criticism well.

But there is a time for everything, and I just don�t feel like that was the time to instruct. Later, as the thoughts developed and solidified, yes. Absolutely.

But then? I just needed someone to share a bit of joy and enthusiasm with.