Nicole feels

This whole process of figuring out where we should be has been a regular cornucopia of who'd-a-thunk-it's. Almost without fail, each time I think there is an �either or�, there has been an �instead�.

And so it is again.

Let me back up a bit. Last week while we were awaiting word from the church in DE, Rob was told he was getting a promotion and raise. His job would officially move to the home office (though he�s been working there since April or May, he wasn�t officially assigned there).

I remember thinking: That�s kind of odd. Why now? Why when he is getting ready to hopefully accept a full time position with a church? Is this just a distraction?

So, we had our final meeting with the staff and their families last Thursday night, as I�ve mentioned before, and we were told that we would find out on Monday.

Yesterday.

Thankfully it was a busy day, as I think I would have been on pins and needles � well, more so than I was, anyway (shut up, I am not high strung, nope, not in the least) � as we awaited that call.

Which turned out to be an e-mail. We received it about halfway into our drive to my parents�, where we were dropping off the boys so I could do the house hunting thing again this week while Rob toils away in his little corporate cubicle.

It began along the lines of: After much prayer and consideration, I've decided I can't offer Rob a full time position...

My first reaction was: WHAT!? All the waiting, all the hype, all the meetings, and now you tell him you can�t offer him a full-time job?

That wasn�t all the email said. It went on to express that he was offering Rob a part time job if he was still willing to work where he is currently working (which he planned to do through mid to late September anyway). The PT offer had nothing to do with us or our abilities. It�s simply finances, or rather, lack thereof.

Once I could breathe again, Rob and I started talking about what it all really meant. Did this mean part time with the intent of full time once the finances were available? What type of time commitment were they looking for? What about school for the kids (if he was full-time, they would have attended tuition-free)? Moving expenses?

Rob called the pastor and they talked about some of those very things. He told Rob that they indeed have the intention to bring him on full time when they are able, but didn�t want to do something to put our family, or the church, at financial risk right now (which we appreciate and understand, though it doesn't change the initial suck-factor). The commitment would be about 10 hours a week, which would mostly be on Sundays; he would basically start out in a consultant type role, helping them pinpoint �problem� areas and fix them.

We found out that the kids could go to the school at 50% tuition, but not tuition-free if one of us didn�t work for the church or school full time.

He asked Rob to email him all of our questions so that he could go over them with the staff this morning.

More waiting. Grrrrrrrr.

After dropping the boys off at my folks�, we got an email from the realtor. Remember the house we loved, the one with the amazing kitchen, the one that went under contract last Thursday night before we felt we could, in good faith, submit a contract ourselves?

It was available again.

Hmmmmmm.

As we talked, and we pondered, as I fussed and Rob reassured, I could tell he really wanted to do this: accept the part time status while continuing to work for the Philly company. The promotion and raise no longer seemed to be a weird distraction, but rather a part of the plan after all.

But the availability of that house brought to light a new set of issues:

- an hour or more commute for Rob
- not the best public school district should the kids not attend the academy

We knew we couldn�t afford the 50% tuition. It would be cheaper to suck it up and pay the exorbitant property tax rates in PA and live a little closer to the home office and drive a bit farther to church each week.

But if I worked full time at the school�

Rob emailed off his questions before leaving for work this morning, and I again started doing what, lately, I seem to do best:

Wait.