Nicole feels

So, where was I?

Ah, yes, our vacation. It�s Thursday now, I believe. Picture People day. Try to corral 10 kids into one small area and get them all to be still and at a minimum, look pleasantly at the camera day. All at the same time.

I started the day with a run, 3.5 miles if I remember correctly. I stopped at my parents� on the way back to Janie�s to try to scrounge up a Slim Fast to drink, but had to make due with a glass of OJ. Back to J�s to get everyone ready for the 10 AM appointment.

Rob had made the mistake of saying, �Why aren�t we all getting our picture done?� This resulted in much shuffling and murmuring and �I don�t know if that�s gonna work� and �It was Rob�s idea!� In the end, we all ended up there (that would be 18 of us) and pretty darn close to the scheduled time.

The photographer was awesome. She took picture after picture after picture and even managed to get one with Brian smiling. That is, showing-his-teeth-smiling. That, in and of itself, is close to miraculous.

We all ended up at Chick-fil-a for lunch, where, much to my surprise, worked an old youth group friend of mine. A pretty cool blast-from-the-past.

A lot of the final pictures turned out well. Which means we all spent a lot more money than we probably should have. The best part of the whole experience was, as Rob later pointed out to me, the actual time we all spent in that studio. I think it really was the most fun we all had � together - while on vacation.

Nothing like �Grammie� helping to keep Old Navy�s stock up by outfitting all 18 of us, some interesting on the floor positioning (�Now, guys, straddle your wives.�), and some cool, crisp cash to make for a memorable family outing.

Later that afternoon, Rob�s folks, his sister, and her two kiddos traipsed over to my parents to hang out with all of us. The kids swam, and as kids seem to do, it was as if they�d been playing together every day of their lives, rather than only seeing each other an average of once per year.

If only we adults could act with such abandon.

Our niece, Ashlyn, is an absolute doll. She looks just like her mom (Rob�s sister), and has the sassy attitude to boot. She just makes you want to pick her up and squeeze her.

My mom invited them all to stay for dinner. At first they hesitated, but we assured them there was plenty of food (food is an event there, and there is seldom, if ever, not enough). Rob�s dad looked at my mom and said, �Okay, but man, hurry it up, I�m hungry!� Mom responded by putting a raw pork chop and uncooked corn on the cob on a plate, bringing it outside to him and presenting it to him with much flourish.

The meal turned out to be one of those mosh-posh kind of deals that you wouldn�t necessarily think to put together, but in the end everything tastes so, so good. I am not sure I have ever seen so much food devoured so quickly.

Oh wait, yes I have. At Josiah�s first birthday party.

But, that�s another story.

Looking back over that day, I think the whole incident with Kaytlin the day before helped me to drop my guard around Mom. I had stood my ground with her, and though in retrospect I have realized it would have been better to take her aside and talk about it rather than giving her an ultimatum, I still feel good that I stood up for Kaytlin, and for myself. I am seeing the event as a real turning point in this journey of healing. A place marker to say that I can, and have, taken my life back and now I can get on with forgiving, releasing, and living.

I can�t speak for her, but in my estimation, Mom seemed to relax too.

Vacation had really begun.